FOLLOWING MY DREAMS

2 Years Ago Today.....

2012-01-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

2 years ago today it was just another day. Or so I thought......

I woke up, went to work, had a morning meeting and came back to my office. It was then I saw the light flashing. I had a message. For a split second I let myself believe that it might be the call, but just as fast as I let that thought slip into my brain I pushed it away. It was only a few hours ago that I had a conversation with my step mom about our adoption. The bankruptcy was over and the adoption agency told us that referrals would start again, but they said not until at least March. It was January there was NO way that they would start this soon I told her. I fully expected that I wouldn't know who our son was until at least May. April if I was really lucky.

I picked up the phone, dialled my password...... "you have 2 messages". First message.... an interview candidate returning my call. 2nd message....... the name Imagine Adoption read on my caller ID. In an instant my entire body started shaking and my eyes filled up. This was it, it was the call I had been waiting for. I could feel it. In that moment I knew I had a son. I was a mother of two.

I returned the call and heard the words I had been waiting years to hear......"Congratulations, we have a referral for you". Those few little words changed my life. I did have a son, and I was a mother to two. In that moment, all the heartache was over.

After the tears stopped and I could talk I managed to find out how old he was, but that was it. I wanted to share the experience with Darryl. After about 1 1/2 hours we were at home and ready to open the file. And this is what we saw. Our hearts melted........

We had a little boy. We didn't know anything about him other than his age, height, weight and the fact that he looked very sad.

Fast forward 2 years and here is our son!

We now know that Tegegn is a wonderful happy little boy. His smile is magical. It can brighten your day in an instant. He has a wonderful sense of humour and is so determined to be involved in everything. The experience of being a parent to our son, this little boy that we first laid eyes on 2 years ago has been one of the greatest joys of my life. In 2 short years I have gotten to know our son, and I can't wait for the future. I know he is going to grow up to be a wonderful man (hopefully not to fast).

What a difference 2 years can make.

Goals Met

2011-12-02T06:03:00.000-08:00

Goals Met

African Food Crisis – What we did

2011-09-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

African Food Crisis – What we did

I Took Him To The Doctor

2011-08-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Tegegn was sick yesterday. He had a fever, a rash and wasn’t feeling well. Today we took him to the doctor. This shouldn’t be anything to blog about. It is something we do when our children are sick. Here in Canada, when you are not feeling well, you go to the doctor. We make a phone call, walk in the office, hand over a little credit card size piece of laminated plastic that allows us access to health care, medicine and a better way of life, and we get better. This is one of the many things that separate us from other countries. With everything that is going on in the world, from the American economy to the famine in Africa this little act of going to the doctor has made me think.

We are lucky. I mean really lucky. Sure our health care system has its problems. I have been dealing with, and have complained about the long waits, differences of opinions ect. myself over the past 2 years since my accident, but let’s face it. WE HAVE HEALTH CARE! When I watch the news, read the papers and follow people on the ground in Africa on Twitter I can’t help but think of the differences in our world. In the United States, people go bankrupt trying to pay their medical bills due to a sickness or accident (I know, I have seen the bills), In Africa children are starving, lack medical attention and are dying….. and we (myself included) complain about wait times. Honestly, I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed for myself and for Canadians in general.

My children will never know the pain of hunger (again), they will get medicine when they are not feeling well, they will have dental surgery and have eye glasses if needed. These are things that as Canadians we have access to and take for granted every day. Although it is not a new year, I am going to try a mid-year resolution for myself. I am going to try not to take these things for granted. I am going to try to be aware every time I step into a doctor’s office, dental office or go to an eyeglass appointment that these situations will never happen to me because I live in this country.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/09/largest.refugee.camp/index.html

Newspaper Article.....

2011-07-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

GuelphMercury - Guelph woman starts charity for Ethiopia after...

Ethiopian Food Crisis - What We Are Doing.....

2011-07-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

As some of you are aware, I am involved in a Charity called Chance For Change International Outreach. Currently there is a major food crisis in the horn of Africa, and Chance For Change wants to help. If you are interested in knowing about this crisis or donating to help us bring aid to some of the 4.5 million Ethiopians affected, please read the link.

Ethiopian Food Crisis - What We Are Doing.....

THE WORK HAS BEGUN!

2011-07-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

We have raised enough money to start.

THE WORK HAS BEGUN!

June has been busy!

2011-06-29T05:13:00.000-07:00

The month of June has been a busy one.

It started with a Gotcha Day celebration. The weekend before the 1 year anniversary of meeting Tegegn we had 2 of the families that we traveled to Ethiopia with over. It is always nice to catch up, and reminisce of the time we spent in Ethiopia and watch the children grow up. One year ago there was 2 babies and one very small shy toddler. Today there is 2 toddlers and 1 almost 5 year old little man.

Next was a trip to the dentist. Tegegn had some pretty major problems with his teeth when he came home from Ethiopia. Malnourishment and no dental care can rot your teeth very quickly. We knew that he would have to have surgery to correct the problems, but we wanted to wait until he was secure within our family before we made him go under again. Going under anesthetic after he broke his arm was not a good experience for him nor I. June was the month we decided on, after 3 failed attempts at the dentist. He did amazing. After the X-rays, we realized the damage to his teeth was even worse than we originally thought (he wouldn't let us do X-rays previously). Here is a recap of what he had done:

3 front teeth removed (one was so bad that there was almost no root left)
1 root canal
1 abscess
all top molars are capped
all bottom molars are filled from cavities

Thank you for insurance!!! It was a big bill. I spoke in great length to the dentist after the procedure. My main question was "how is it possible that he wasn't in any pain". Tegegn had never once said or implied that his teeth hurt or we would have brought him in for surgery sooner. The dentist explained that there was no way he wasn't, however he probably lived with it his whole life, so the pain was normal. That sentence broke my heart. The fact that children have to live in pain and deal with it is heartbreaking to me. I have never had a cavity, but my husband has and he tells me that the smallest cavity shoots pain up the tooth with every bite of something cold. I regret not doing the surgery sooner.

Gotcha Day was great. We spent it at the Guelph Multicultural Festival. I had a booth there to sell our products for Chance For Change so my friends volunteered to watch my booth so that I could have dinner and spend some time with my family. All day I kept looking at Tegegn thinking WOW, your here. It was such a long hard road to this point, and it's like it never happened. It feels like he has always been with us. Tegegn is a normal adjusted 4 year old Canadian. The only time he shows any signs of insecurities is when he is around other children of colour (people with brown skin as he says). That is when I have to reassure him that he is part of our family and that he isn't going anywhere.

Last weekend we had another Chance For Change event at the KW Multicultural Festival. We did great. We have had amazing support from the Ethiopian Community. They are all very happy that we are helping "their country".

Chance For Change is doing great. I have recently received an e-mail saying that we have raised and sent enough money to Ethiopia for the washroom facility at our sponsor school to begin ( Our Goals for 2011)

It's incredible to think that by selling some scarves and jewelry in Canada we are able to provide basic sanitation to 1215 students in Ethiopia. Thank you for all the support you have all given our organization.

Well, the month isn't over yet. Today I go for surgery. This is stemming from an injury in 2009. It is a day surgery, so should hurt to bad. My hope is that this will be the last one and I can put the memory of my injury in the past. Here's hoping. We have decided to take a short 5 day vacation up to our cottage after, so we are going to celebrate Canada Day on the beach. Not a bad place to recover from Surgery I think! I will keep you posted and upload some more pic's soon.

If you get a chance check out Chance For Change on our website.....

Chance for Change

One Year Ago

2011-06-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

We ended up going to Ethiopia one year ago tomorrow (June 11, 2010) with a great group of people that we had never met. One of these people made an amazing video about their time there. I need to share it.

Thanks Rob

Facebook: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Our First Family Vacation With Tegegn

2011-06-01T18:15:00.001-07:00

We spent 9 days in Florida and it was a blast. We didn't do much but relax and hang out. Tegegn had so much fun. He decided that he doesn't love the brown water (ocean) and that it tastes icky. It took us about 2 days to explain to him the concept of keeping his mouth closed while swimming. After that he liked it a little more and decided that he really liked the wave. Here are some of the best pics.

Reflections - One year later

2011-05-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

One year ago today......

-I had booked our plane tickets to travel to Ethiopia to pick up Tegegn. He didn't yet have his VISA and we had no idea how long I would be in Ethiopia.

-I didn't know who my son was. I had no idea that he loves to sing and dance, gives the best hug, has amazing balance, is very busy and has a great sense of humour.

-I had no idea that Celine would open her heart and end up being the best big sister ever. I didn't know that she would love to teach him and watch out for him and that she would never wish we hadn't adopted him.

- I didn't know that traveling to Ethiopia would make me want to start a charity. I had no idea that my evenings and weekends would be filled with planning and attending events to try to raise money to support a school in Africa.

- I thought I wanted 3 children. I wasn't aware that Tegegn would make me feel like our family was whole.

- I thought that I had a great life. I had no idea just how good it was going to get.

One year ago this was our family!

Mother's Day - the good, bad and painful

2011-05-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that we celebrate mother's. I am lucky enough to have an amazing mother. One who always stands by me, loves me and tells me to follow my dreams. I am also fortunate enough to have a great step mother and mother in law. Both of whom I am very close to and admire a great deal.

Today like always I celebrate the day with my mother gardening. Yes, I put my mother to work on mother's day, but it has always been a day that we enjoy. I woke up with two little children yelling"happy mommy's day" in my ear, followed by many wonderful crafts, cards and special surprises that they made me. We then had a great breakfast and my mom came over for the gardening to begin. Now when I say gardening, I don't mean we plant a few flowers. I mean we dig up grass, move huge rocks and shovel wheelbarrels of dirt, all in the hopes that we can create some privacy in our backyard which is lined with chain link fence (yuck). We are exhausted by the end of the day, but we always have a wonderful meal that my husband prepares (or at least most of it).This year was a very special year as you can all imagine, because beside me were my 2 children helping. They dug, watered and of course stopped a lot to play on the trampoline.

By now our probably thinking where is the bad and the painful that the title refers to. Well that is about all the other mother's that I have been thinking about the past few days. The mothers that out of selfless love gave up their rights to their children so that they could have a better life, and the women who are mothers in their hearts. You see it was only last year, and the 3 before that I like many others spent mother's day in pain. Yes I had my wonderful daughter that I enjoyed so much and never took for granted, but there was a void, something missing. For many of my friends they went through this day with the pain I felt for many years. You see adoption and infertility robs you of this day. It is a reminder that you don't have what you long for so much. I can't speak about infertility because I fortunately never had to go through the heartache of the tests after tests, treatment after treatment and days of wondering if it will ever be, but I can speak to adoption. Like I have said so many times before on this blog, waiting adoptive parents are most often forgotten. People outside of the adoption world don't understand that from the minute we sign those adoption papers and are considered "waiting parents" in our minds and hearts we are parents already, just as when I women finds out she is pregnant. We have already fallen in love with the child in our hearts, with the one(s) we long to see the face(s) of. I have many friends in this situation as well as some battling infertility. So I guess to all mothers, and those who are mothers in their hearts already I say Happy Mothers Day!

Tegegn's First Canadian Easter!

2011-04-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

It was a great weekend. On Friday we had our annual Good Friday fish and chips dinner with family and friends. Yes we are baptized Catholic, but no we are not practicing. We have just always done it. It seems as good a reason as any to get together for dinner. This year we went to a new restaurant, and I think they were very happy they gave us our own room. There was 18 of us included 7 children under the age of 10, so it always gets a little loud.

We decided to go to our cottage for the rest of the weekend. Due to it being a 4 day weekend (yes I work for the government) and so late in the year we thought it would be a good time to open it up for the season. This took a little convincing. My husband Darryl didn't want to sit in the rain, and Celine was really concerned that the Easter bunny wouldn't know how to open the door to the Cottage and wouldn't know we were there. After looking at the weather report, and leaving a note to the Easter bunny at our house to let him know our plans we were off, and glad we did it. The weather was beautiful. We spend the afternoons out for walks, playing at the beach and exploring (our favourite things to do at our Cottage).

Sunday morning came very early. At 4:00am, I had a little girl in my bed asking if she could wake up Tegegn to start his very first Canadian Easter. After a little convincing, and some little white lies (I told her that I didn't think the Easter bunny had come yet, and wouldn't if we were up) she fell back asleep, but only a few hours later, and I had another body in my bed. 4 people and 2 large dogs are a lot for a double bed, but it was a great way to wake up on Easter morning.

Walking out to the living room was so much fun. Tegegn's eyes lit up. He couldn't believe that a bunny rabbit brought him a basket full of things and hid eggs full of chocolate all around the Cottage. It was a great day. I unfortunately forgot our camera. Thank goodness for blackberries, because I was able to catch some of the moments. These are the moments I will remember always.

Very Exciting!

2011-04-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Well some of you who read my blog probably know about the Charity myself and some other wonderful people have created called Chance For Change International Outreach.

Our goal is to help create sustainable employment and educational opportunities in Ethiopia. Well today we have launched our website. It was a lot of hard work, but it's up and I am very excited about it.

If you have a few minutes, please check it out. It still needs some finishing touches, but we feel it's at a point where we can spread the word about it. Check it out, and follow "our journey", the blog we will be updating as we move towards our goals.

www.thechanceforchange.com

Finally, but it brings with it a lot of pain

2011-04-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

When I originally heard the news a smile came over my face almost as big as the day I got "the call", but after watching this.....It's all pain.

I knew this day was coming. I was one of the people interviewed by the RCMP as part of their investigation a few months ago and was told that there would likely be charges brought against these individuals soon, but watching this reminds me of the pain my family and so many others went through. The days after the bankruptcy were some of the worst of my life.

By alas, I woke up this morning with my beautiful little boy smiling at me. We are one of the lucky families. Our son is home. I can't say that for everyone who went through this horror.

Hopefully some justice is done, although, it no amount of retribution or hopefully jail time will be enough if these individuals are found guilty. What they "allegedly" did was unthinkable.

CTV Toronto - Operators of bankrupt adoption agency charged - CTV News

Confession Friday

2011-04-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

I confess.......

- that I have not been a very good blogger lately. I have been really busy, and just haven't found the time.

-today was a good day. The monsters that bankrupt Imagine Adoption have finally been charged. I know they won't get the punishment that they deserve, but finally they will have to face up to what they did, and with any luck will see some time behind bars.

-I am very excited about the things we have been working on for Chance for Change. I can't wait to share it with everyone.

-I just cut Tegegn's hair for the very first time, and I have decided that it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Faux hawk......NOT

-I am looking forward to our first family vacation in May. We are going to Florida for some fun in the sun.

Confession Friday!

2011-03-11T03:23:00.000-08:00

I confess

I don’t understand road rage. I mean really… is it necessary to yell, scream and flip the bird to people because they accidental cut you off or took your parking spot unknowingly. Who hasn’t done that before and let’s face it, you really aren’t affecting the person in the car you are yelling at, your are just making a jack a$s of yourself and giving them something to laugh at because the sight of you is quite funny.

The recent news, articles, updates ect… that have come from the Ethiopian Adoption community in the last week have made me mad, upset, thankful and non edge. I know a lot of people still in this process, some of which I consider my friends and the thought of the pain and unknowingness once again that they are going through are the reason for these feelings.

That the last month has been a little hard. Darryl and I own some rental properties, and in the last month we have had issues with 3 of our units. We knew these months would happen when we decided to become landlords a few years ago, but I have to admit, there has been a day or two this past month when we question if it is worth it……IT IS!

I am very relieved that after 2 months our shipment for Chance For Change finally left Ethiopia. We haven’t been able to raise much money these past few months, because we don’t have very much product in Canada at the moment. This was our first shipment we sent with our license and we now know all the red tape associated with a shipment. Let me tell you…. There is a lot.

I have my finger, toes and legs crossed for all of my adoptive friends who are currently fighting for their children, leaving for Ethiopia to attend court and hoping that the next few months brings “the phone call”.

I kiss my children good night every night when I go to bed. Most nights I stop for a minute and stare at them sleeping. It is usually in those moments that I realize that the greatest accomplishment I have in my life was becoming a mother.

I can’t wait until summer. Every day the sun is shining I want to leave work and go and open our cottage. COME ON WARM WEATHER!

Every day is an Adventure!

2011-03-04T16:22:00.000-08:00

Tegegn has been in our family for almost 9 months now. He adjusted so well, that most days I honestly forget that. It feels like he has always been here, and that he is just a regular 4 year old Canadian child that didn't spend the first few years of his life in sever poverty not having a toy to play with or a change of clothes.

There have been so many things I have watched him learn about over the past 9 months that I can't name them all. At the airport surprisingly the airplane wasn't the highlight. Honestly I don't really think he knew what it was, and we just kept telling him that it was like a beep beep car. That seemed to work. The things he was amazed by were chairs that were stuck together, of course the escalator and most shocking was the ceiling fan. Just another thing on a mile long list that we in Canada take for granted.

Last night something happened that made me remember that he is a boy who grew up in a developing country and he is still figuring things out (something that I can honestly say that I sometimes forget). Tegegn does not like his hands and feet being cold. The first time we realized this was in Ethiopia when he had ice in his drink for the first time. We don't think about it but ice is a luxury, and one that most of the world doesn't ever get to experience. We were out for dinner and his drink came. We had forgotten to ask for no ice, but we realized that Tegegn was use to the water of Ethiopia so thought we would just let him drink it. Well that was not happening. Even though we didn't understand a word he was saying, it was very obvious that he had no idea what that was and was having no part of it. After taking the ice out of his drink he picked it up. The reaction was hilarious. It was something he never felt before, and I could tell he didn't like it. He has grown accustom to ice now and has no problem with it, but he doesn't like to hold it. In the summer I had to wrap his freezes up in paper towel for him to eat it because it is "too cold mommy".

Well last night Celine asked if she could have a piece of ice. I'm not sure why all kids like ice, but they do so I let her have one. Now Tegegn is in the stage that he wants to do everything his big sister does so he wanted one as well. Totally forgetting about his cold hand issues I handed him a piece. Well you can guess what happened "no good mommy. Ice is cold. Tegegn needs a napkin". So I put his ice on a paper towel. About a minute later he was saying it was still to cold. I asked him what he wanted me to do, and he pointed to the microwave and told me that he wanted me to warm it up. I tried to explain that that would melt the ice, but 4 year old's know better so the paper towel and ice went into the microwave. After 30 seconds it was half melted and I took it out and gave it to him. He couldn't understand where half of it went but it was ok for a minute. Then it was cold again, so into the microwave it went. 30 seconds later I opened the door again, and WOW surprisingly it was gone. Tegegn's response "where did it go mommy?". After explaining with disbelief he asked for another piece. So again I gave it to him on a paper towel. Once again he told me that it was to cold and it needed to go into the microwave. I tried and tried to explain that it would melt again, but once again 4 year old's know best. This time he wanted to press the button. I think he thought I did something wrong. So I picked him up, showed him the 30 second button to press and away he went. 30 seconds later I fully expected him to question why the ice was half melted and the process to start again, but NO. The microwave stopped, he pulled it open to find a half melted piece of ice and a soggy paper towel. He took it out and said "Tegegn's done". I put him down. He proceeded to start to walk away with his ice in his hand, but first he turned around and said......" See mommy Tegegn knows".

Everyday is an Adventure

It Has Already Started

2011-02-28T06:10:00.000-08:00

When we decided to adopt we bought our daughter Celine some books on adoption. We wanted her to be a part of the process and understand exactly what adoption meant. We read them often at bedtime It was a great way to open the doors of communication. One of these books is Rosie’s adoption. It is a story about a dog who is adopted into anther breed of dog’s family. It was one of Celine’s favorite.

Since we have been home with Tegegn we have occasionally read him these books and others about the differences of people. We really want to prepare our kids the best we can to the inevitable cruelty that will one day fall upon them.

A few nights ago we were all sitting on Tegegn’s bed reading Rosie’s adoption at bedtime, and when we got to the part of the story that talks about how Rosie’s friends sometimes question if her family is her “real family” Celine said “that happened to me at school”. I took a deep breath, prepared myself and asked her what happened. Now you should know a little about my children’s school. They go to a French immersion school in a predominantly Caucasian neighbourhood. It is a very small school in today’s world, so everyone knows Tegegn.

Celine started explaining how last week a boy in her school asked if Tegegn was her brother, to which Celine replied yes and thought nothing of it. Then recess came. She was playing with a group of her friends and another little girl ran over to her yelling “Celine come here”. I guess the little boy who originally asked her about Tegegn was telling other kids that Tegegn’ wasn’t really her brother. At that moment my heart sank. I think the knowledge of the questions, hurtful comments and ridicule that could possibly happen is the greatest fear for parents of multicultural families. As parents we do our best to bring our children up to know that all families are different in their own way, and ours is beautiful, but we would be naive to think that the entire world thinks the same way as us and that they will never feel the hurt of the words of racism or ridicule. This day was not that day though. I asked Celine what she said. She looked at me as if Duh mom…..”I said he was”. And that was it. As plain as that. Here’s hoping it will always be that easy…..

Every Little Bit Helps

2011-02-23T18:51:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a fun one. My husband and some friends went to our cottage for a weekend of ice fishing, beverages and whatever else is entailed in the annual male bonding rituals while myself and the kids enjoyed a weekend with my step sister and nieces. We took the kids to an indoor playground one afternoon and just had a lot of fun. All the kids are so close in age that it is really fun to watch them interact.

On Monday my other niece who is 10 and nephew who is very close to 9 came over to play in what I hope is some of our last snow of the year (wishful thinking I know). When they walked into my house they handed me a Tupperware. Inside was some change. They told me that they were inspired by one of my last posts in which I told the story of how Celine gave me her money from creating a store to send to Ethiopia. After reading that post, they went around their house and collected all the change they could find. This included pennies, nickles, dimes and a couple of quarters. They told me that they wanted me to add it to the next cheque I send to Ethiopia to help the children there. After they left I counted the money. It totaled $4.61. I started thinking what you could do in Canada for $4.61. Well you could buy a coffee and a bagel at Tim Hortons. That would give you a few hours of hunger relief. You could get your car washed, your car would look nice for a total of a few hours if your lucky. You could buy one beer at a restaurant.... yummmmmm tastes good. Or you could send it to Ethiopia and help a child have an education.

My niece and nephew have briefly heard me talk about helping the children in developing countries, but not at any great lengths so I find it amazing that one little post and they would decide to do this. What they probably don't know is that the change they collected from around there house is almost enough to change a child's life for a year. School fees in Ethiopia are 100 Birr a year. At today's exchange rate that is $5.93 Canadian. It's amazing to think that the money that is lying in our couch cushions, in our junk drawers and on our dressers could do so much.

So, thank you so much Lauren and Hunter. I will proudly add your $4.61 to the next amount of money that I send to Ethiopia. It will change a child's life.

Challenges

2011-02-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

When we decided to start a charity in Ethiopia I knew it was going to be a challenging undertaking, but I think I underestimated it a little bit.

Some of the challenges I knew I would face were the language barriers, differences in processes between two completely different countries, technology challenges and of course cultural differences.

Chance for Change International Outreach received our charitable status in Ethiopia on December 6, 2010 after jumping over many hurdles, but that was just the beginning and looking back the easy part. Because the model of our charity is based around sales of goods as apposed to strictly collecting monetary support there is additional challenges. Developing countries do not have systems in place like we do here in Canada. In order to import products for sale purposes in Canada there is a few steps that have to be taken. These steps are clearly outlined in a number of different governmental organizations. It’s not a simple task, but one that if you follow the steps and talk to the right people you are able to achieve without too many swear words coming out of your mouth in the process. Ethiopia is a different beast. Getting an export license wasn’t that difficult because I have some good people working for me there, but the process after that has been a nightmare. Every time we think we are days away from our shipment leaving there is another form that needs to be filled out, another process that needs to take place, another place to bring the shipment to get authorization to allow the shipment to leave……ahhhhhhhhh (insert swear words). Anyone who has travelled to Ethiopia or I would assume any developing country knows that electricity comes and goes at will with no notice and with it Internet service. Adding this to the time difference, and cultural differences in the fundamental ways in which Canadians and Ethiopians do business means I go days and days without knowing what is going on and thinking that everything is fine, only to find out that once again we are stalled usually because of one more piece of paper that is needed. My hope is that once we have this processed ironed out, every shipment from here on will be a piece of cake and looking back it will just be the story of the beginning of a great Charity.

I know the shipments will get here, and with them we will be able to continue with our goal of helping educate and employee some of the people in Ethiopia but for right now the frustration mounts.

Confession Friday

2011-02-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

I confess that ……

I really like green licorice. The long thin kind that as a child I used for a skipping rope before I ate it. I think more stores should sell it. I would buy it

I have a hard time with people who have pity parties constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I feel that everyone deserves a day or two or period of time here or there to wallow in their own self pity, especially those going through adoption. God knows I’ve had my days in the past few years of adoption hell where I found myself curled up in a ball eating candy to comfort myself. I am talking about the people who are always saying “poor me”, or “why can’t my life be different” or my favorite “why me”……… AHHHHHHHHHH you create your life, you make your own existence. If you don’t like it change it, do something different, create something new, but stop complaining all the time.

I haven’t read a good book in a while, and I need to.

I’m a procrastinator with a lot of things. If I’m not passionate about doing something, I have a hard time getting started and I often put it off far too long.

I throw out my children’s school work that they bring home when they aren’t looking sometimes. I love the art that they do and I don’t want to crush their spirits but they just bring home sooooo much. We can only put so much on our fridge, so when they go to bed or up to their room, I throw some out.

That I still check the yahoo adoption site way too much. I still get so excited for people when I see a referral, or a passed court date or a VISA, and so sad and upset when a family get’s news that they don’t expect or have a hard time with the endless waits. I don’ t think those feelings will ever go away. Having lived through it, I think it’s incredible that one little phone call or lack of a phone call can instantly change someone’s life.

I have a hard time with electronics. My husband is constantly shaking his head when I try and turn something on. I mean really….. why can’t their just be one controller, and why is there so many buttons. I don’t have the patience for it all when it doesn’t work.

The Joy of Winter

2011-02-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

I'm not a big fan of winter. I always say that I wasn't meant to be born in Canada. Don't get me wrong I love the country, and everything we have here but honestly is asking winter to be cut back to 2 months out of the year too much?

The past 6 years have been a little better. Watching and playing with my children outside having fun in the snow, learning to skate, tobogganing and this year snow boarding has made it a little easier to handle, but I have to say...... I would rather be watching them and playing with them in the sand of a hot, tropical climate.

Come on Spring...... Where are you?

Proud Mommy!

2011-02-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

Last night I went out with a group of 3 other wonderful people I have met throughout my adoption process. 3 of us have brought our children home and 1 is still waiting for a referral. Whenever I get together with adoption mom’s I am so happy after. It’s always great to be able to speak to other people that know and have shared the experience of not only the ups and downs of adoption but also the experience of traveling to Africa. All 4 of us have been there (Ethiopia or other countries) for various lengths of time, but we all had the same impression. It was a life changing trip that we will never forget.
You can tell people over and over and over about the poverty you saw or the beauty of the people, but to witness it with your own eyes is an experience that I think every person should have. To watch a person dig through the garbage, get their water from a puddle at the side of the road or be so frail that they can hardly walk is a humbling experience. To explain the beauty of a smile on a child’s face when you give them a balloon or hand them a necklace that you brought from a dollar store is something that can not be put into words.

One of the things I have always said about being a parent is that I want my children to Experience the world as much as I am able to afford to them. By this I mean to not be sheltered. I want my children to be awear and see with their own eyes that we are LUCKY to live in a country like Canada. To know that there are places in the world that people don’t have running water, electricity and computers, but that this is OK as long as they are not suffering. I want them to know about different cultures and the history of different countries. And mostly I want them to be compassionate and want to help those who are suffering.

The other night Celine and Tegegn decided to make a store. They took different items from our house and asked Darryl and I to come shopping, so we did. I decided that I wanted to buy a stuffed dog and Cat and a blanket so that they would have something to sleep on. I handed them my pretend money, and to my surprise they said “no mom, at this store we only take real money”…… so I gave in and handed them $2.00. Next came Darryl. He decided to buy everything else at the store. After negotiating he paid them $3.00, which was a far cry from the $80.00 they said they wanted.

Now during this process I suspected that Celine was just trying to get more money to save for her Pokemon cards that she wants and was taking her brother along for the ride, but NO. I was so proud of her when after cleaning up the store she walked over to me and said.
“mom, when are you sending more money over to Ethiopia for Chance for Change”. I said I’m not sure when the next time is. She reached into her pocket and took out the money that She and Tegegn just made from there store and said “ Please add this to it. We want to help the people in Ethiopia”. My heart melted. How proud am I?

I'm Back - New and Maybe Improved

2011-01-28T17:15:00.001-08:00

Well, I thought I was done blogging. I had every intention of being done. I didn't feel like I had anything to write about. I mean we are a normal everyday family, but I have to say; I read a lot of blogs and I realized that I missed blogging. So I AM BACK. I will be honest. I don't really know what I am going to write about or if anyone will read it, but I enjoy it, so I'm going to do it.

What I have realized is that I'm a dreamer. I have a lot of dreams (too many sometimes), but some of these dreams I have turned into reality. So what better then that to write about, as well as my adorable, cute, loving children.

One of the things a lot of blogs I read have been doing is Confession Fridays. I love this idea so I'm stealing it. Here it goes.

I confess that the highlight of my day was getting an e-mail from my friend L telling me that after 9 (not a typo) court dates her little boy legally became her son. I started crying and shaking just like the day I got my phone call.

I confess that I talk to much. Anyone who has ever met me knows this, and I know it. I once bought myself a t-shirt that read "Help me I started talking and can't shut up". I have tried to stop but I realized that that will never happen, so now I just own it. I mean if you can't laugh at your own issues and downfalls what can you laugh at.

I confess that I have had the same wallet for at least 15 years. My good friends try to get me to buy a new one but I don't.

I confess that half of the reason I don't buy a new wallet is because I like the reaction I get from my friends when they see I still have it.

I confess that my dad is my hero. Along with my husband he is the best man I know.

I confess that I love New Kids On the Block. I hated high school and I think that they are the one thing I remember about it that I liked. My friend and I went to 3 of their concerts last year (had tickets for a 4th, but left for Ethiopia) and we stood up and screamed throughout the entire show just like we did when we were 15.

I confess that I am very proud of Tegegn today. He got the student of the month award for learning two languages and following routines. Not bad for someone who has only been in school since October.

I confess that my bucket list is so long, that I know I won't get to do everything on it, but I plan on trying to.

I confess I love sour keys a little to much. I rarely buy them, because if I do I will eat them until my mouth hurts and I can't taste my food for days after.

THE END

2011-01-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

I started this blog almost 1 year ago. A few days after one of the greatest days of my life. Our referral day.That was the day that I was sitting in my office at work when the call that changed my life came. That was the day that I got to see the picture of the little boy that I had been dreaming about, loving and planning for for years. That was the day that I knew life as I knew it was over.

Since then so many things have happened and I have been able to share some of those moments with the friends, family and total strangers that read this blog. I don't really know how many of you there are, but I appreciate all the comments both "on and off the record".

December was a great month for the Laferriere family. There was of course, Tegegn's first snowmen, which turned into an entire snowman family. We stopped at the dogs because we had no idea how to make them stand up. He got to experience his first Christmas, and no he wasn't afraid of Santa. And we are very close to finishing his room. This was something that was very important to me to let him be a part of. Before he came home, we bought a bed, a shelf and a blanket that was it. He picked out his new rug, pictures for the walls, light ect... Now it represents him. Our fun loving, always singing and smiling son that loves the movie Cars. He is honestly a joy to be around.

Tegegn has brought so much to our lives. Watching Celine as a big sister brings tears to my eyes. She is so sweet and caring. She is always wanting to teach him something and is the first person to say good job Tegegn when his figures something out for the first time. I was scared that having a younger brother would change her, and it has, but in a wonderful way. He also makes me enjoy the mornings more. I am not a morning person, but it is very hard to be in a grumpy mood when you wake up to his little voice saying Good morning, I love you mommy. I melt.......

Traveling to Ethiopia to pick up Tegegn changed me forever. I will never forget the poverty that we left behind there, and the faces of all the children. It is what has motivated me to turn 52 scarves into a charity that I am happy to say made $5600 in the first 3 months. We have been able to start renovations on the washrooms facilities at the school we are supporting and so far have paid for 35 children to attend school by paying for their uniform and yearly school fees. It has been a much harder process then I originally thought. The government of Ethiopia doesn't make it easy. They tell you that you must have an office, employ a certain amount of people, do work in certain areas ect..... so it took longer then what we thought, cost more then we thought to start up, but it's working and we are excited about where it will go. We have had alot of good support from friends, family, people I've met in the adoption community and total strangers.

I started this blog for two reasons. After our referral I had a lot of people asking me what was next. I thought that the easiest way to get the information out and only have to tell the story once was on the net. So here we are a year later. He is home and we feel like we are a regular family now. I am back at work, our kids go to school, swimming, karate, soccer, we eat dinner together every night, go to our cottage and live a normal life. The second reason was to be able to let Tegegn know how I was feeling during this year. This is my journal for him to read and know the story, reasons and feelings I had while going through this process.

So, This is it! I don't know how many of you there are out there reading this, but thank you. Thank you for letting me do this. I never thought of myself as someone who would enjoy putting their life out there for total strangers to read, but I have made some wonderful friends through this blog, and it's been a lot of fun. I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures throughout this year.

The Month Of November

2010-12-02T07:41:00.001-08:00

The month of November has been a busy, happy and exciting month. I turned 33, Tegegn experienced snow for the first time, went to the butterfly conservatory and started on the regular schedule at school, Chance for Change is growing and keeping me busy and Darryl and I bought and started renovating a new rental property. WOW when I put it in writing it seems even busier then I thought it was.

The decision to put Tegegn in school already was a tough one, but when Darryl and I thought about it, it made sense. He does well with routine, wanted to go where his sister was going, and in our minds was ready. He is doing really great. Like I have said in the past, we didn't have many attachment issues, so he doesn't feel like we are abandoning him when he get's on the bus, and is starting to make friends and understand the routine at his school.

Chance for Change is doing great. We have been getting a lot of support from friends, family, adoption community, strangers, actually everyone which is great. We have realized that getting the charity started on the Ethiopia side of things is a little bit more complicated then we were lead to believe originally, so things there aren't up and going yet, but hopefully with a little more time and effort it will all work out.

The butterfly conservatory was a great time. Tegegn loved chasing the butterflies but couldn't understand why they wouldn't stay still and let him catch them He was amazed by the bird who would sit still on the kids and thought it was really great to see so many birds eating in one place. He saw snow for the first time and it was magical. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't love the winter. Actually I wouldn't have a problem living without it (except for about a week around Christmas), but this year is different. When Tegegn woke up the first day there was snow on the ground his excitement made it all worth it. He couldn't believe that it was in the front yard and the back yard. He kept running from door to door to make sure what he was seeing was real. We were outside in our "snowman suits", which is what he lovingly calls his snowsuit before 8:00am making his first snow angles and having a snow ball fight. This was probably the most amazing "first" I got to see.

Emotionally, the shock and disbelief that he is actually here is fading. He has been with us going on 6 months and it feels so right. I did have a moment the other day when it all came back though. I was Christmas shopping. I was in the boys clothing section looking for an outfit for him and tears started rolling down my face. I couldn't believe that I was actually shopping for my little boy that was actually in my house. This was the first Christmas in 3 years that I wasn't standing there saying to myself "it's ok, next year I will be able to buy boys clothes". This year I actually was. This Christmas morning all 4 stockings will be down and filled. Santa will finally have 2 children to bring presents to at the Laferriere house. It's been a long hard road to get here, but we are complete.

My New Adventure

2010-11-07T11:14:00.000-08:00

When Darryl and I decided to adopt internationally I knew that I couldn't walk away from my child's birth country without doing more. I have always wanted to be involved with International development and knew that I wanted to give back to the country that gave me the greatest gift imaginable; my son. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this or to what degree, but I knew that I needed to do something. Having spent a little time in Ethiopia, it doesn't take long to realize the devastation of the country. There is very little health care, social systems, a serious issue with the education system, sanitation problems and the list goes on and on. The one thing that Ethiopia has is a lot of is people that want a better life. Everywhere you go there are people trying to make a living in any way possible. One of the places we visited was a weaving shop. Here they made beautiful hand made scarves which they sold to locals that would then mark them up and sell at a market, or to the few tourists that travel to Ethiopia. When we went into the shop I knew that there was a market in Canada for these (and the ideas began to flow....). What if we could sell these in Canada? We would be supporting Ethiopia by employing people. What a great thing to be able to do. We could then send the money back to the country by the way of supporting projects needed within the country.

So I decided to bring scarves back with us and see, so 52 came home with us. Another amazing organization doing work in Addis Ababa is an NGO that trains handicap and blind people to make a variety of things. One of the things are really cute child backpacks and once again the ideas started, so 6 came home with us. The last thing was coffee. Coffee is the backbone of the Ethiopian economy. It is the best in the world, and part of everyday life for the Ethiopians, so 30 bags made the trip to Canada.

I wasn't sure how this was all going to play out, but I thought, oh well if it doesn't work at least I've helped the local economy a little. When I arrived home I told a few good friends and family about my idea and they were on board.

On July 27, 2010 CHANCE FOR CHANGE INTERNATIONAL OUTREACH received charitable status from the Ontario government.

Great, so we have all this product, we have a name........now what. Well we got to work. We started telling people and in a few weeks we ordered 120 more scarves and 25 more backpacks, and we started developing our marketing plan. Now we needed to decide where the money was going to to.

Having spent a few weeks in Ethiopia gave me some time to make some connections with people there. I was lucky enough to be able to start a relationship with two Ethiopians that already have a name in the Canadian adoption community, and therefore I know are trustworthy, so I asked them where they thought the money would be best spent. There response was "money is needed everywhere". Not a lot of help, but it is the truth. We knew as an organization we wanted to help children and try to change their lives for the long term, not just a band aid solution. And in the end we thought the best way was through education.

Education in Ethiopia and I believe in most developing countries is not only a way to a better job and therefore life, but also the only way for some to get basic information about general health education, sex education and a healthy meal.

An average wage for 80 % of working Ethiopians is between 10-30 birr a day, which is $0.61 - $1.82 Canadian (depending on where you live and your job). School costs approx 100 Birr per year depending on the school. The thing that is most astonishing is the price of the school uniform. The cost is between 185-250 Birr per child $11.21 - $15.15 Canadian depending on the school. I don't think I have to point out the obvious problem. How can families afford to send their children. The answer is most can not. If they can somehow scrap together the 100 Birr per year, they can not afford the uniform, so their children do not go or they rotate the uniform. So in a family with 4 children, the children would go once every 4 days. If you add this to the estimated 5 Million orphans in the country you come up with a huge amount of uneducated youth.That is the reason why Chance for Change International Outreach decided to send all of our proceeds to help youth become educated.

We are doing this in a few ways. We have decided to sponsor a school about 40KM outside the capital city Addis Ababa in a city called Alemgena. The cost of living there is higher then in Rural Ethiopia because of the proximity to the capital, and therefore education is an even larger problem. We are currently working with the school to decide what is most needed and therefore what our first project with them will be. We also want to help children that can not afford to be schooled get to school. The way we have decided to do this is through our T-shirt Campaign.

We have had t-shirts printed with our Chance For Change Logo on them, and have marked them up the cost of a school uniform. Therefore every t-shirt sold directly sends a child to school. We are selling them for $20.00 for toddler or youth and $25.00 for adult sizes. We are very happy to report that since we have started actively selling our products about 3 weeks ago, we have not only already made $1600.00, but are also sending 10 children to school. Yehhhhhhhhhh

Hopefully by now, whoever is reading this is excited and wants to know where to purchase things. Well we currently have a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Chance-for-Change-International-Outreach/144599875584686 (sorry it's so long, we need 100 fans before we get our short URL code) which we are currently setting up our store on. Our website will be coming soon, but for now you could just e-mail me at chanceforchange@hotmail.ca, or come and see us at one of our events. We are currently at the Kitchener Market in Ontario every Saturday from now until Christmas, and host home parties. Our scarves seem to be the most popular and can only be bought in person because they are each hand made and individual. Below are some pictures of our products. I hope you like them and want to support us to make the lives of some Children in Ethiopia and with any luck other developing nations a little brighter. This is our Chance for Change....

My Little Boy is 4

2010-10-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

4 years ago today (October 10th), my little boy was born. 10 months plus 4 days ago he was brought into my heart with a picture, and 4 months ago less a day he was brought into our family as we drove through the gates of the orphanage in Ethiopia. When I say that: only 4 months ago, I can't believe it. It is like he has always been here. Yes, it saddens me that I don't know what his first word was, or that I wasn't there to see his first smile or his first step, but he has always been with me. Cheesy I know, but it's the truth. I can't imagine my life with out him in it. The thought of that makes me feel empty.

In these 4 months Tegegn has learned..... to ride a big boy bike, speak a language, understand that yes there is running water EVERY TIME you turn on the tap, by flicking a switch the lights do come on, if you press a certain spot on the steering wheel the car honks, Mommy and Daddy WILL come back when they leave, dogs will not always attack you for food, they are nice and friendly, you do get to pick a new shirt, underwear, pants ect. everyday because there is more than one, that you don't need to eat as fast as you can because there will always be more in the fridge, and so much more. AMAZING.... what do we learn in 4 months? Well usually I would say nothing, but these past few months have taught me a lot, and here are a few of the things.

Don't take things for granted.... We all say that but do we really mean it? Well, spending a short time in a third world country will make you appreciate all the little things that you never did before. Things like lights, water, food, stop signs but it will also make you appreciate the life we have. Education for everyone, the ability to become what we want, the opportunity to achieve something in life. Those thoughts don't exist for most people in developing countries because it's unheard of.

Appreciate your journey... We all have sob stories about our past. What our parents did wrong, regrets we have of things never achieved ect.. but most of us don't sit back and appreciate our journey that has lead us to the life that we have. I do now. I look back on all the rights, wrongs and past regrets (even though I don't call them that, they are opportunities never taken or lessons learned from) and appreciate that my life is what it is because of the path I have taken. My son is here with us because of that path.

Respect... I have always been respectful of others and other cultures, but I am more so now. My eyes have been opened that there are completely other ways of living and the way I live is not necessarily the best, but due to where I was born it is the best for my family.

Unconditional love... And I'm not talking about my children's unconditional love. When we were in Ethiopia we had the opportunity to spend a few days in an orphanage because my daughter met a girl that she really got along with, and it was an incredible experience. The people that work at this orphanage did so out of love for these children (most of which were orphans and HIV positive). We don't see that in Canada very often, but it happens all around the world. People give up the little bit that they have to care for others that have less or nothing. It's inspiring.

I can make a difference...Every little bit helps. I can't change the world, but if I can help a few people I can make a difference. That is why myself and a few others have decided and have started a charity to help people in developing countries. This is our Chance for Change (more to come.....)

Patience...I have to be honest. This is one that I am still working on. Adopting a child comes with it's challenges and patience is something you need (more so then I ever did with my daughter). Tegegn understands most things I say, but there is still a language barrier when it comes to explaining concepts of things. There is also getting to know your child that you didn't raise from the start. He is so strong willed, that he likes to test everything I say, and yes the always asking WHY MOMMY WHY????????

These past 4 months have been great. They have been more then I ever imagined and they have changed me in ways that I didn't think would happen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEGEGN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

3 Months Home!

2010-09-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday marked two exciting days. It was Ethiopian New year which we celebrated in Toronto with the 2 other families that we traveled to Ethiopia with and it happened to be 3 months to the day that we all met our beautiful sons together. What an unbelievable experience to share with total strangers that have now become our friends.

3 months have gone by so fast. It seems like yesterday that we arrived at the green gates and walked in. Although we knew it would change our lives, I don't think anyone is ready for it. I have never posted about that day, so I thought that it was fitting to do it now.

After arriving at the Hotel, we all quickly put our belongings in our room and loaded into the van waiting for us. We had called ahead and let Kids Link know that we all wanted to go and see our children right away. So off we went. The van ride was a mixture of trying to get to know each other, awe about the country we were now experiencing, and dis-belief that this day was finally here. After what I think was approx 15 min we were at the head office of kids link. We all emotionally signed the papers that legally allowed us to take our children, we were off again. This time it was only a few minutes and we were at the green gate. We all knew that once it opened, that was it. Life as we knew it was different. For us we would become a family of 4, and no one, not a bankruptcy, a person at the high commission in a foreign country or our own government could change this now!

As they opened the gate, and we drove in, we were comforted by a basic but very pleasant courtyard. There was a swing set, beautiful flowers, laundry hanging and the pictures of children that we were all use to seeing around the kids link logo.

After introducing ourselves to some of the staff we waited. It is a weird feeling to be waiting for a total stranger to walk out with your child. A child that they know and have learned to love. So there we were, making small talk with each other, trying not to look nervous and out of the corner of my eye Hana, the head nurse appears walking down the outside hallway with a shy little boy holding her hand. Any one who knows me can imagine what happened next..........

Tears, tears, and more tears. Darryl and Celine were facing the other way, but I guess the look on my face and the waterfall coming from my eyes made them turn around and see our new family member. As I am writing this today, the hairs on my arms are standing up and my eyes are holding back those same tears. This was a moment that one year earlier, I didn't believe would ever happen.

All of the families there that day had been through their own hell to start or complete their families. The roller coaster to get us there had more loops, drops, and turns then anyone could have imagined or warned us about, but it didn't matter. Within a 1/2 hour we were all holding our beautiful boys and all that was gone. WE DID IT. WE MADE IT.

So fast forward 3 months and Tegegn is in Canada. He is doing so well. He understands most English, and speaks it regularly, plays like a normal almost 4 year old, gets into fights with his sister like all siblings. He just fits. Don't get me wrong, we did have a few weeks that I thought "oh my god, how will we ever get through this", but most of that seems to have past. Although I will never forget the struggles we had to get him to us, the anger about it is mostly gone, because it just feels right, like it was meant to be.

Like I said before, we were lucky enough to be able to share the experience of meeting our son with other families, and we were very honoured to be there to see them welcome their sons. Yesterday was the second time we have gotten together since arriving back form Ethiopia, and it was great. All of the boys have grown and when they get older, it will be wonderful to be able to tell them stories about the day that strangers flew half way around the world together to meet their children!!!!

The Real Beauty of Ethiopia....THE CHILDREN

2010-08-27T06:05:00.001-07:00

Although it is very sad to see the poverty, these children are absolutely beautiful!

The Animals of Ethiopia

2010-08-11T18:35:00.001-07:00

Big, small and scary!!!!

Ignorance of People

2010-08-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

This article was in the globe today, which I found fitting after my experience at the store this morning. It went something like this:

Cashier: Are they both your children?
Me: Yes they are
Cashier: What is different?
Me: Blank stare.......
Cashier: Not from the same father?
Me: What I wanted to say was (Are you kidding me. How rude are you. It is none of your business), what I did say was Yes they have the same father.

I don't have a problem answering questions about adoption. I'm actually very proud to, but honestly......

Yes, I am a real mother - The Globe and Mail

The Beauty of Ethiopia!

2010-08-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

So I've gotten in trouble from a few people about not sharing any pictures, so my next few posts will be exactly that. Pictures we took on our trip. Enjoy!!!

The people of Ethiopia

2010-08-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

Our Children in Ethiopia

2010-07-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

Having spent almost a month in Ethiopia gave our children a lot of time to bond. What an amazing opportunity that was to witness. Total strangers put together as siblings. Here are some pictures of those precious moments.

Tegegn and Darryl are famous!

2010-07-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

http://news.guelphmercury.com/News/article/661090

Home at Last!

2010-07-09T02:43:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since I was able to post I know. Ethiopia's Internet was slow, slow, slow and I couldn't update, so be prepared other blogger. We had a great time. What an experience the whole trip was.

I can't describe how meeting Tegegn felt. It was incredible, the end of one journey and the beginning of another. He felt like part of our family from the moment that I picked him up. It was right!

The 3 weeks in Ethiopia after, brought alot of joy, discovery, excitement, tears, frustration and love.

Joy is obvious this was a very long journey for us with lots of twists turns, ups, downs so joyous seems like a very weak word now that I think about it.

Discovery in getting to know Tegegn, and the country where he was born. We have now been to the other side of the world, and let me tell you, that is a perfect way to describe it. The people of Ethiopia are wonderful, full of life and most have nothing, and I mean nothing. We were able to visit 4 areas of Ethiopia, and all were different. The Sodo area is so mountainous and lush this time of the year (rainy season) that it looked like it could be somewhere tropical (Hawaii maybe). It was gorgeous. Banana trees, huts ect, but you didn't have to look very far (about 3 feet beside the car) to see the reality. Children playing in the mud and collecting water from the disease infested puddles on the side of the road in rags, plowing fields on the side of a mountain with an ox, begging for food or $ from anyone passing by. This is Ethiopia. This is their life.

Addis Ababa is a crazy place. Safe, full of life and CRAZY. There are people walking down the streets who look like they should be in Paris, Toronto, London next to beggers and shanty town. After a few days in Addis we wanted to get out. The pollution is horrible and the mud, oh the mud (did I mention it is rainy season). It is like any other big city. Alot of construction, alot of people however this is Africa so it is different. There are very few if any social systems in Ethiopia, and there government doesn't have a good infrastructure so things that we have like shelters, proper sidewalks, driving laws don't really exist. I would NEVER drive in this city. Walking across the road is scary enough. I guess if you get in trouble, it's not that bad, all you have to do is take out some cash and the police look the other way (yes we witnessed this with a driver of ours).

Adama is another world, even though it is only 100kms outside of Addis. Dry barren and organized. Don't get me wrong you still have beggers, poverty, donkey's cow's or other livestock walking down the middle of the street, but it is more organized with large cobblestone walking sidewalks ect, and the weather, oh the weather. We spend 10 days in Addis and it didn't rain for 1 day, most days the rains lasted hours in the middle of the day. In the 9 days in Adama it didn't rain at all during the day, only at night and it was a wonderful 25-27 degrees every day.

Lake Langano is beautiful. Obviously the lake, cliffs, birds..... it is peaceful there, but once again sever poverty outside of the few "resorts" the surround the lake.

There was alot of excitement in Ethiopia, for both the kids as well as Darryl and I. Every day brought a new adventure. Celine never got tired of seeing donkey's crossing the road in the middle of traffic, or the beautiful birds, monkeys, warthogs ect... that we saw. Watching what Tegegn got excited about was an eye opener. The light switch still one month later is not old and he laughs with excitement every time he gets to turn it on or off. The excitement he had the first day we brought him to the hotel and he put on his buzz lightyear pj's was so cute. But I think the moment that really opened my eyes to how amazing it is for him was when we walked into the airport and he saw a ceiling fan. He couldn't believe it. He was in awe. That's when the reality of just how new (and overwhelming) this journey would be for him.

There were alot of tears and frustration on this trip. Adopting a 3.5 year old with his own personality and not being able to understand the language that is being forced onto him doesn't come without challenges. And like any 3 year old his is constantly testing us. He has shed tears and we have been frustrated but we will get through it.

We love him so much. He is our son!

Well that is all for now. Jet lag is true and Tegegn is now awake, but here are two of our first family pics.

Leaving Dubai

2010-06-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

Well today was our last day and only second full day here. It is a very unique city. The highlights were the spice market, the creek boat ride with the locals, seeing the crazy buildings and of course the beach. It is a country of extremes. From the tallest buildings, the most expensive hotels, the cars and the heat, but what I enjoyed the most was the melting pot of cultures. Every type of person, from every nationality living together and seeming to accept each other (although I have been told that if you live here you find out that that is not the case). Our first morning we sat at a restaurant and watched the people. It is an amazing thing to see every clothing style from what you would see on the runways of Paris to traditional Arabic clothing all together.

Our first trip on the Metro here didn't go so well. First we accidentally got on the the 1st class section of the subway (yes I said first class), to which we were told we had to move. We then went back one car and Darryl was told he had to move. It seems that we were in the "women and children only" section. They also have these on all the buses. A great experience and one that we learned from very quickly....lol

We are glad we came here to see it, but I have to say: Dubai fell short of what we expected. It was a unique experience, but not one that I feel I have to do again or have to recommend to anyone. There are a few things to see and other then that it is honestly just another big city. The only thing we wish we would have had time for was to go to the desert. That would have been a great experience.

Tomorrow morning we leave for Ethiopia. I am writing this at 9:00pm, so in 24 hours I will have met my son! I can't wait.

I will keep you posted and hopefully be able to download pictures next time.

Well, We're Off!

2010-06-06T16:17:00.001-07:00

That's right. We leave tomorrow. Yehhhh I have to go finish packing so this post won't be long. We leave tomorrow evening and arrive in Dubai Tuesday evening. We are spending 3 nights there (I have always wanted to see the craziness). We will get to Addis on Friday morning, and hopefully meet Tegegn in the afternoon.

Some good news came this week. We found out that Tegegn's VISA is on it's way to Addis, which means that we will be arrive home on July 7th as a family of 4. I hope to be able to update this blog a couple of times a week to keep everyone informed of our whereabouts, and hopefully upload some pictures of the 4 of us.

I can't believe this day is finally here. It has been a very long journey, but not as long as some of my friends that are currently waiting for referrals. I hope a lot of referrals are given and that the slow down ends when we are away. I will be thinking about you all.

How to explain this to others?

2010-06-01T17:42:00.001-07:00

It seems that almost daily I am telling people about our adoption. My job was posted at my work for my leave, so I now have over 200 people wondering what is going on. I'm obviously not pregnant, so most people assumed that I was going to be off for more surgery on my leg. They are shocked when I tell them about the adoption(happily shocked). There are two responses I get most often. First is "what a lucky boy", and second is "you are so wonderful for doing this". Both of these statements that I have had trouble with ever since we started this process.

Is he lucky? NO, he's not. Are we wonderful for doing this? No, we are not.

I know that people say these things with all good intentions but I have a really hard time with it. He is not lucky. If he was lucky, he would have been born in a country that provided enough food, water, shelter and security that he could have stayed there and been raised by his biological parents. He would have been born in the west, or at least into a middle class family. Instead he woke up one morning and his whole world was torn upside down. He didn't ask for this, and he does not understand what is going on. I'm sure he doesn't feel lucky.

We are the lucky ones. We get the most incredible and amazing job that anyone can get. We get to parent this boy. To watch him grow up, to watch him learn, to watch him love, to watch him become a man. That is lucky.

I understand what people mean by this comment, they mean that he is one of the small few who get to leave the cycle of poverty, he gets a future when so many don't, he will survive and not die of starvation like millions of others, but he doesn't understand this. One day he might. My hope is that one day our son looks back on his life and is proud of the journey it took to bring him to us. I hope one day he will look into my eyes and see that I know without a doubt that I am lucky that he was brought into my life.

When people tell me that I am wonderful for adopting, I don't know what to say. Adoption isn't something people do to feel wonderful. We didn't do this to feel good about ourselves. I donate money to charities to feel like a good person. I put presents under the Christmas tree at the local shelter to feel good about myself. This is something that I was always going to do. I was meant to adopt, which I can't explain to anyone who wasn't. I am not wonderful for doing this, I am just following my path. We are creating our family the way we were suppose to, the way we were meant to. And once again how lucky am I that this handsome boy is my son!

Decisions Made and a Request for Help

2010-05-21T06:42:00.000-07:00

Well we did it. We booked our tickets. We are off to Ethiopia on June 7th. Now before you get excited NO we didn't get Tegegn's VISA. We have been told that it will be in, in approx 4 weeks from now. If I've learned anything from this process, approximately is different for everyone. With that said we have booked our flights home July 6th. Our hope is that we will be coming home as a family of four, but that might not happen. If his VISA isn't issued in that time frame, Darryl and Celine will be making the long journey home and I will stay with Tegegn for and unknown period of time. Obviously I am hoping that if this happens it will be a short extended stay, but who knows.

All I know is that I need to be a mother to my child physically and not by seeing pictures of him. We as a family need to get to know each other, we need to be whole. In all honesty we need this journey of waiting to come to end, so that the hoping and dreaming is reality, and the anxiety, tears and heartache ends. That is why we have decided to take this risk.

So wish us luck!!

For those of you who read my blog and are not familiar with the process of adopting from Ethiopia here is a bit of a background - After a family receives a referral, they will wait anywhere from 1-3 months for a court date. Only after a successful court hearing can the travel documents be prepared for children - and families are ONLY able to bring their children home once they have received confirmation that the travel documents are ready. In the past, these travel documents have fluctuated in processing time, anywhere from 2 weeks to over six months!! Currently, these travel documents are taking an EXTREMELY long time - in fact, NO families who have gotten their referral since the bankruptcy (the first referral occurred in mid December 2009) have received their travel documents for their children. That means no family has yet bring home their child/ren to Canada and have been given no indication whatsoever of when this might happen. This issue is completely unacceptable and, even more so, unnecessary and could easily be solved.

In comparison to other countries, like the USA, families receive these travel documents within as little as two weeks after their successful court hearing. Also, in comparison to other Canadian High Commission locations around world that process travel documents, the office in Nairobi (in which Ethiopian adoption travel documents are prepared) takes over double the amount of time as these other locations and has gotten significantly longer over time.

This issue does not only affect Ethiopian children being adopted by Canadian families, but on a much larger scale, it also affects refugees coming to Canada. The Canadian Council for Refugees’ wrote a report describing the current problems in Nairobi and called for better resourcing at the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi. You can read more background on this issue here http://ccrweb.ca/en/bulletin/09/11/02 and the full report here http://www.ccrweb.ca/documents/Nairobireport.pdf

Here are the steps to follow to help us take action on this issue:

1) Cut and paste the letter at the end of this post into an email.

2) Send the email to the Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, Jason Kenney, at Minister@cic.gc.ca.

3) Copy your own Member of Parliament on the email. Using your postal code, you can find her/his email address at the following website: http://www2.parl.gc.ca/Parlinfo/Compilations/HouseOfCommons/MemberByPostalCode.aspx?Menu=HOC

4) At this time, the Standing Committee on Citizenship and Immigration is studying the issue of immigration application process wait times, specifically the long visa wait times of the High Commission in Nairobi. Telling this committee what we are asking for is a key step. We also want to let the Prime Minister, Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Foreign Affairs critics know that we are doing this. Please copy the following Members of Parliament on the email to the Minister as well:

tilson.d@parl.gc.ca, BevilM@parl.gc.ca, chowo@parl.gc.ca, StcyrT@parl.gc.ca, Calandra.P@parl.gc.ca, GrewaN@parl.gc.ca, ThilaE@parl.gc.ca, karygj@parl.gc.ca, Wong.A@parl.gc.ca, DykstR@parl.gc.ca, Coderre.D@parl.gc.ca, Young.T@parl.gc.ca, pm@pm.gc.ca, Cannon.L@parl.gc.ca, rae.b@parl.gc.ca, DewarP@parl.gc.ca, lalonf@parl.gc.ca

Here is the letter for copying and pasting:

Subject line: Application processing times at the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi

Dear Minister Kenney,

I have read of the Canadian Council for Refugee's report on the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi. I am distressed to learn of the High Commission's processing times for its most vulnerable applicants. I am embarrassed as a Canadian to read in the report some of the personal stories of refugees and their dependants who are enduring significant hardships, and in some cases tragedy, as they wait years for their applications to be reviewed by your clearly overburdened visa officers in Nairobi. Furthermore, this issue also affects children being adopted by Canadian families.

CIC-Nairobi' s processing times for refugees, refugee dependants, and internationally adopted children are approximately double the average for all of Canada's overseas missions. In fact, CIC-Nairobi' s processing times for almost all other immigration categories lag dramatically behind the global average for Canada's overseas missions. This situation is hardly fair or just, especially given that it impacts some of the most at-risk people Canada's overseas missions serve.

I want my voice heard and to encouraging the Government of Canada to stop the neglect of this overseas mission and the many very vulnerable individuals and families it serves. I would like to strongly encourage Citizenship and Immigration Canada to act on the following recommendations from the Canadian Council for Refugee's report:

- increase resources (both human and material) at Nairobi;
- increase processing targets allocated to Nairobi;
- reduce the number of countries served by Nairobi by using or creating other visa posts in the region to take on some of the burden of Nairobi; and
- review refugee and immigration programs to ensure that access is equitable and that Canadian anti-discrimination and anti-racism policies are fully respected.

Your spokesman's comments in November regarding the High Commission's processing times seemed to indicate that the Government of Canada feels no sense of urgency to address this situation. While acknowledging that this region is beset with many special obstacles, Canada is clearly failing to meet these unique challenges with unique solutions. The only conclusion that can be drawn is that those with the power in Ottawa to address this situation simply do not care to make resourcing decisions that would better support and protect vulnerable children and families.

I urge you to extend our Canadian values of fairness and compassion to vulnerable waiting families and to search for solutions to the issues currently facing the High Commission in Nairobi.

Sincerely,
Your name
Your address

By sending these letters you will NOT help out Darryl and I. We are already in the process, and it will not change that fast, but you WILL make a difference to all the Canadian families in the future waiting for VISA's.

Letter writing made the difference after the bankruptcy. It helped us re-structure and allowed us to meet our son. I am asking you on bended knee. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send these letters. No other family should be forced to make the decision to risk everything like we are doing and fly over without a VISA or to stay at home while there child grows up in an orphanage.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you

Friends Out Of Chaos

2010-05-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

International adoption has been a lot more emotionally challenging then I ever expected. This obviously is in part to the horrible situation of the bankruptcy, but the process itself challenges you at every step. First it’s excitement of the decision to adopt. For us we knew we would always do this, but it challenged societies opinion of creating a family, and therefore came with a lot of “why” questions.

Then there is the waiting. The endless waiting. The constant pushed out time frames. I can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it how emotionally draining it is. There are days where you want to give up, throw in the towel and say forget it, it’s not worth it (even though in your heart you know it is). It is days like the one I am describing that I am so glad to have gone through this experience with some of the people I have met.

When the bankruptcy happened, the Internet allowed me to meet people I never would have met otherwise. Daily e-mails, phone conversations and just knowing that there is someone out there who understands what you are going through completely is a wonderful thing. I have met one person in particular that has helped me through this process (you know who you are) that I can’t thank enough. On days where I felt like we want to give up, she inspires me to go on. On days where I need to vent, I e-mail her, and on the wonderful days I have had recently, she is just as excited as I am because in the adoption world every time someone get’s a referral, goes through a successful court date, get’s a VISA it is a celebration for all.

Yesterday I came home to a package. Inside was a lovely letter and a necklace. The necklace has two pendants on it, one with the picture of a girl and one with the picture of a boy. On the back of these pendants it has Celine and Tegegn’s name on them. There are no words to say thank you. Once again knowing that there is someone who get’s it is priceless! THANK-YOU

A Weight Lifted Off My Shoulders

2010-05-07T16:36:00.001-07:00

Some of you know that last October I broke my leg really bad. I won't get into details, but let's just say that seeing my bones outside of my body was not on my bucket list, and I don't recommend anyone put it on theirs. My recovery has been one complication, then another, then another. The last month has been really hard. There was a possibility that I might need more surgery and would have to postpone our trip to Ethiopia leaving Tegegn in the Transition house for longer then necessary if his Visa came in before I recovered, or Darryl would have had to go to Ethiopia by himself to pick him up. Needless to say neither of these options were great, and the thought of either of them was too hard to think about.

Well this week I had 2 dr. appointments and they both went great. There has been a huge improvement over the past month, and both have told me that I could go to Ethiopia without any worries. There is the possibility that I will need some minor surgery in the future, but I shouldn't be concerned about problems arising when I am there.

I can't tell you how happy this has made me. It finally feels right. I can finally let my emotions go crazy with the realization that we are going to Ethiopia together as a family. We will get to meet our little boy together. I can't wait to hug him, love him and watch him play with his big sister Celine. I can't wait to watch him grow up. Here are the latest pictures we received of him. All I can say is WOW I have an adorable little boy!!!!

Good Times!

2010-04-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

My two good friends threw us an Adoption Celebration over the weekend. Close family and friends came to celebrate the adoption of Tegegn. They thought of everything. Good Ethiopian food and coffee, a picture of Tegegn that everyone signed to welcome him to the family, and a “I’m a big sister” book for Celine. Everyone had a great time, although some of us had a little too much of a good time (too much wine), which was felt the next day…..lol Thank you so much. Now all we need is the phone call to go and get him and my life would be perfect.

Another Step Down

2010-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I guess there was one more step that needed to happen before Tegegn’s VISA could be issued. It is called the letter of no objection. Basically what happens is the high commission of Canada in Nairobi sends the court documents to the Ministry of Children and Youth Services in Ontario to make sure that they agree (one more time) that the adoption should go through (even though he is legally our child). They then must send a letter of no objection to the high commission before the VISA will be processed. I didn’t know that this step existed and I am sooooooo excited about it. What it means is that our file is not sitting in a pile in someone’s office. It has actually been looked at and is moving forward. Could this be it? Is it possible that our luck has changed once more and things are going to move faster then normal? I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. You know what this means. Every Friday and Monday I will be on edge. These are the only days that “the pouch” of VISA’s are opened by Imagine staff in Ethiopia. So this is a warning to anyone reading this that comes in contact with me on those days. I WILL BE ON EDGE. I WILL BE JITTERY EVERYTIME THE PHONE RINGS. I WILL BE IN TEARS WHEN THE CALL COMES. I WILL GET TO HUG AND KISS MY LITTLE BOY ONE DAY VERY SOON!!!!!!!

A Very Good Day

2010-04-09T15:39:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of bad days going through an adoption but today was a very good day. Today we were sent pictures that confirms that Tegegn knows of us. We sent him a picture album and a stuffed animal and he now has them. I can't explain the feeling. Falling in love with your son through pictures is the strangest and most incredible thing. I am sooooo excited to be able to get to know him and watch him grow. But for now we wait. We wait for a visa so we can start the process of becoming a family under one roof.

Party for Tegegn

2010-03-30T19:14:00.000-07:00

I had never heard of this before, but what an amazing thing to do. My father and step mother live in Florida half of the year, and have made many wonderful friends, who know all about the struggles we have had to bring our son home. When my father and step mother arrived in Florida and told their friends that they had a new grandchild the ladies wanted to celebrate. So what did they do? Well they threw a shower in Tegegn's honour.

They had some drinks, good laughs, opened gifts, and then re-wrapped them so that they could be brought back to Canada for us. Celine had such a wonderful time opening them for her brother.

Throughout this process I have had a good support system from a lot of different people, but I have to say the most amazing support is when it is completely unexpected. Thank you for all the gifts, but most of all thank you for caring about our little man! I can't wait to bring him down south to meet you all.

The Final Wait

2010-03-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

Our final documents are in, so all of Tegegn’s paperwork is off to Nairobi to wait for his visa. This is the final step before we travel to Ethiopia to bring him home. I thought I would let you know about the steps it took to bring us to this point, and answer some questions that I have gotten throughout this process.

Nov 2007 – Decided to adopt – this is the day that I felt like I was a waiting parent

Dec 2007 – Initial consultation with adoption social worker and decision to go through imagine adoption.

April 2008 – Home study completed and sent to the Ministry of youth and children services

May 2008 – Approval to adopt. First major step down.

June 30, 2008 – Paperwork in Ethiopia (officially waiting parents). At this point we were told that the wait for a referral would be approx 3-4 months.

July 2008 – July 13, 2009 – Waiting, waiting, waiting. During this time, Ethiopia becomes the #1 country to adopt from internationally, timelines for a referral skyrocket to an estimate of 12+ months. (It is now 2+ years for families just starting the process, once you get off the waiting list).

July 9, 2009 – 10 year wedding anniversary. Never did I think I wouldn’t know who my son was by this day.

July 14, 2008 – D-day BANKRUPTCY – my whole world collapsed.

July 14 – September 20, 2009 – Fight, fight, fight to make Imagine adoption viable again and to meet and bring home my son. This was the hardest point in my life. I wouldn’t give up, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t go down without a fight even though a lot of people thought I was crazy. I am so thankful for the people I met in the adoption community going through this. They gave me strength when some people, even some within my family basically told me to give up (some not very nicely). This was also a time when I realized who was really important to me in my life, and who honestly understood me. For those of you reading this that were there for me, whether it be to listen while I cried, distract me even if it was with a car on fire (inside joke), write letters, post petitions on facebook and just support me, you will never understand what that meant to me. To the people, who never asked, who wouldn’t listen, who told me or implied I should give up you will never understand how much that hurt me. This was my child I was fighting for. Wouldn’t you do the same for yours?

September 21, 2009 – Creditors meeting to find out if Bankruptcy trustees will be able to re-structure Imagine. The vote was unanimous (which has never happened in North America before). To hear that creditors decided that their money was not as important as the families being able to adopt their children made me believe in the goodness of mankind again. Imagine can open their doors again while they come up with a plan to re-structure.

October 2009 – The new Imagine Adoption officially opens its doors. Re-structuring plan comes out – More $ must be paid by the majority of the 350+ families by November 30, 2009 to start up the company again. If this happens Imagine will continue operating. Referrals won’t start until approx April 2010, but they will start and families will be able to adopt children.

November 30, 2009 – The numbers are in. Imagine will be a company again. The skies looked beautiful again, l could breath. We were waiting parents again. It would still be a long time before I knew my son, but it didn’t matter, I would one day.

December 16, 2009 – The first referral, 4 months ahead of schedule – The adoption community celebrates like its New Years Eve 1999. This is the true day of VICTORY for us. We did it!!!!!

Jan 14, 2010 – THE PHONE CALL – I never thought it would happen so soon. I was speaking with my step mom that morning telling her that it would still be months before we knew who are son was. This was the day that my world felt right. My dream came true.

Feb 16, 2010 – Our first court date, MOWA (ministry of women’s affairs) didn’t get a letter to court in time so we didn’t pass.

Feb 23, 2010 – 2nd court date. We passed. Tegegn is our son legally.

March 19, 2010 – All documents are sent to Nairobi to obtain Tegegn’s visa.

????? – TRAVEL to pick up our son.

As you can see, it’s been a long, long, long road. We were originally told that it would be approx 14-16 months. Here we are 27 months, and a bankruptcy later and not yet at the end. I have never really posted my feelings about this process or about all the questions I get about what about the $ and time it takes, isn’t it buying babies…..ect. Well here it goes.

Adoption has been something I knew I would do since I was a little girl. I mean it’s not normal for a 12 year old to wake up every Saturday and religiously watch World Vision and talk about my future adopted children right? I am so very lucky that I found a person in my husband that had the same beliefs as me. As for why? Look at my past post named “why adopt” for that answer.

When people ask about the $ it costs. My answer is how much did your car cost. Can you really measure a child’s worth in $. If you can, I don’t know what to say to you. We are definitely on different pages in life. At the end of my life I might not have a beautiful car or a huge house, but I will have beautiful children that I have cherished watching grow up, which is much better in my book. As for the time it takes. Some of the extended timelines I understand. Ethiopia went through a lot in the past few years with their adoption program. Most of the changes (which ultimately slowed down the process) were to make sure that everything is being done legally. That birth parents and children rights were considered and taken care of, so I agree with them whole heartedly. In saying that, it didn’t make the waiting any easier. The processes that they put into place were to stop (or deter) some things that have happened in other countries, such as child trafficking. The changes that I think should happen to speed up international adoption are right here in our own country. We can’t change the politics of Ethiopia, but we can in Canada. Why does it now take over 4 months after a home study is completed to get approval from the ministry of youth and children services is beyond me. Why is the Canadian Embassy in Nairobi the slowest embassy in the world? Probably because it services 19 countries (crazy). Americans wait approximately 1 week for a visa after court. We are lucky that adoptions get expedited through Nairobi, so it only takes 3-4 months. This is in comparison to refugee visas which take up to 42 months (not a typo). These are things that can and should be changed.

As for “buying babies”, people who adopt do NOT buy babies. We pay for services to be able to adopt. There are orphanages costs, social workers costs, lawyers bills, agency costs, salaries for government workers for visas, passports ect. Should they all work for free? If you say yes, then maybe you should start a petition and see how far it gets you. I would sign it!

Although I do believe that adoption is not the answer to solving the problem of the world’s orphans, until we as a global effort change our world, stop wars, stop famine, fight for the poor, make vaccines available to all, it is one way to help some of the 147 million of the world’s orphans have a future.

So now we wait for the phone call to travel. It is a random as the referral phone call. We have an estimated time line and that is all. One day my phone will ring and I will be told that Tegegn’s Visa is in Ethiopia and I can go pick up my son. I am told that it could come as soon as 8 weeks, but I have learned the hard way through this process not to expect any timeline to hold true, so we wait. I can’t believe that this day is coming. It was always something sometime in the distance that would happen and now it is going to. I will keep you posted.

Dana

More adoption bad news

2010-03-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

Although this news doesn't affect our adoption, it is horrible none the less. The last week has brought two changes to the Ethiopian adoption process. The first is that MOWA, the organization that has to approve all adoptions in Ethiopia has decided to temporarily not support adoptions of relinquished children from 3 of the 10 provinces in Ethiopia. The reasons for this are not clear and the "temporary" timeline has no clear end. What makes this even worse is that 3 out of the 4 orphanages that Imagine Adoption works with are in these provinces, which means that referrals will drastically slow down (there were only 2 in Feb compared with 14 in January, and none in March so far).

The second change came about yesterday. The Ethiopian Federal Court put up a notice to make a change in the travel of adoptive parents. The change was that all adoptive parents must now make 2 trips to Ethiopia. The first trip would be made on the first court date, and the 2nd to pick up your child. The reasons for this change are to make sure that the adoptive parents are sure that the referred child is the child that they want to make part of their families. I guess some people have actually gone through the entire process of adoption and at the last minute changed their minds in Ethiopia and left their children there(Crazy). As of this morning the notice has been taken down and the courts are negotiating with a representative of the 70 international adoption agencies licensed and working in Ethiopia. The hope is that they will change their minds or postpone the mandate untill later in 2010, so everyone hangs in limbo.

Like I said, these changes do not affect our adoption because we are through court and legally Tegegn is our son, but it sucks none the less. I have made a lot of friends in this process, and my heart is hurting for them. These changes mean more slow downs, more money and most of all more emotional heart ache. When will it stop, will it ever be a stable, firm process?

Unbelievable!

2010-02-28T17:34:00.001-08:00

I don't really know what to say. I'm disgusted. The article speaks for itself. How could anyone do this? KARMA

TheRecord.com - Local - Payments to Ethiopia soared before local adoption agency collapsed

Why Adopt?

2010-02-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

I get asked this question all the time, and I don't ever have enough time or energy to answer it, so I thought I would answer it here. My answer: WHY NOT?

There are an estimated 147 Million Orphans in the world. That means 147 million children without parents. 147 million children that could die without enough food, without safe drinking water, without shelter, without medical care, without education, without someone to tuck them in at night, without someone to tell them that they are worthy of love.

I live in Canada. One of the most prosperious countries in the world. I wake up every morning in my house, go down stairs, turn on the tap to get water to make coffee, make breakfast for my family, get my daughter ready for school, and go on with my life. So simple right? Well not for 147 Million people out there. They wake up on cement (or dirt) on the side of the road hungry, scared, without love, without breakfast or water to drink. Hundereds, if not thousands die every day without the world knowing who they were, without someone to tuck them in at night. So my answer to why adopt is WHY WOULDN'T I??????

Amazing!! Imagine1day

2010-02-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

This was an amazing display in the streets of Vancouver the first full day of the Olympics, but what most people don't know is that imagine1day is a charity in Canada that builds schools in rural Ethiopia. What a great way to raise awareness.

Of Course!

2010-02-23T07:47:00.001-08:00

We passed court today and there has been a lot of emotion. Great happiness that we have a son, great sadness that a father had to give up a son but also clarity. Of course this was all suppose to happen. Of course we weren't meant to get pregnant a 2nd time. Of course we were suppose to adopt from Ethiopia before Haiti. Of course Imagine Adoption needed to go bankrupt. All of this led us to him! I'm a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason and today it is all clear what that reason is. We needed to go through this journey to bring us to our son. So after all the tears of happiness and sorrow I would formally like to introduce our son Tegegn Chamasa Frank Laferriere.

Court date and Wedding update!

2010-02-17T14:11:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Mexico. We have our 2nd court date. Feb 23rd. Our case worker will be in Ethiopia at that time, so she is going to try and attend. A and M's wedding was beautiful yesterday. Sun was shinning, waves were crashing and the drinks were flowing. 2 more days until we come back to reality!!!!

Not ours YET!!

2010-02-16T07:12:00.000-08:00

Well, it's just another loop in the roller coaster ride. MOWA didn't get our letter to court in time so we didn't pass court. They usually make a second court date pretty soon after when this happens, so we wait. He will be our son one day. I have my good friends A & M's wedding today to cheer me up. Cheers from Mexico.

Off to Mexico

2010-02-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

We leave for Mexico tomorrow for my good friends A and M's wedding. There are 72 of us going, so it will be great fun. Being that our court date is while we are a way, I will try and post the results from there. 1 week of sunshine, pina colada's and relaxation. Can't wait.......

COURT DATE!

2010-02-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

We have found out that our court date is Feb 16th! Hopefully that will be the day that Tegegn will become our son! If so there will be 2 reasons to celebrate. It also happens to be my good friends A and M's wedding day. Yahhhhhhhhh

Rollercoaster Ride!

2010-01-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

That's what I feel like I'm on! Today I was told that although some other families got a court date, that we did not. There is no reason for it. Our phone call will come soon and our court date will probably be within a week or two from Feb 16th (the date that the other families got). This should be OK right????? Well, in the real world yes, but here in Adoption world every little wait seems like an eternity. Don't get me wrong, I am really, really happy for the other families, but I want our date. You see International Adoption, or probably any adoption for that matter is a roller coaster ride with your emotions. Ups, downs, twists, turns, you can't control it. In my head I know that a week or two won't make a difference, but my heart says something else. You know the feeling you get a week or two before you are getting married, or a week before or after your baby is due, or a week before you are about to go on a trip of a life time, well I've done all three of those things, and this feeling doesn't compare. Your stomach gets tied up in knots, you feel like you are going to cry or throw up at any minute and your mood drops instantly. All this because your phone didn't ring today. It's crazy, and in the end it will all be worth it!

Waiting for Court

2010-01-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well it's been over one week since we got our incredible news and saw our son for the first time. We now sit here waiting to get a court date. That is the day that Tegegn will hopefully become our son. That is the day that our happiness is caused by great pain in someone else's life. That is the day that a father will have to walk into court and give up his child. So we wait, we wait patiently with this knowledge and sadness, because although I desperately want him to be our son, I think it is a horrible thing that anyone in the world would have to give up a child due to poverty. My hope is that we can give Tegegn all that his father dreams of for him. That we will make him proud.

The Referral

2010-01-17T16:52:00.001-08:00

I've decided to start a blog so that anyone who wants to follow our journey to Ethiopia can! It started about 2 1/2 years ago (20 years if you count all the years I've been thinking about adoption) and we don't know when it will end. We recieved "the call" on January 14th (6 months after our agency went bankrupt) and the acceptance was in Ethiopia on January 15th. I've been told that this was a record. His name is Tegegn Chamasa. I unfortunatley can not post his picture until we pass court and he legally becomes our son, but believe me when I say he is beautiful. We are told that court dates are being booked about 4 weeks away, so we wait. And then we will wait for more medicals, passport, visa and then the call to travel. We have no idea how long this will all take, but we are hopefull that we will have in in our arms soon. I can't explain how I feel right now except to say at peace. It's been a long road to get here, but seeing his face has made it all worth it. The Laferriere's are now a family of 4 (6 if you include the dogs, which Celine tells me I should).